Tuesday, April 29: 6:00 PM - Track Workout
24 min w/u
5 x (800m, 100m jog, 300m) 3.5 mr between sets
2:18.4, 48.3
2:15.5, 49.6
2:16.5, 48.8
2:15.5, 49.4
2:16.2, 49.8
25 min c/d
(right knee was tight that night)
Wednesday, April 30: 10:30 AM - 10+ Miles, 73 min
(knee wasn't bad on the run but sore later in the day)
Thursday, May 1: 0 Miles (Right knee pain)
Friday, May 2: 6:30 PM - 6 Miles, 40 min
(knee was feeling better, both shins were tight)
Saturday, May 3: 9:00 AM - Track Workout
25 min w/u
1 Mile @ 4:33.1 (4.5 mr)
2 x 800 @ 2:11.3, 2:11.9 (2.5 mr)
4 x 400 @ 66.5, 64.8, 64.4, 65.0 (1.5 mr)
(shins were tight on the warm up and cool down but not bad during the workout)
Sunday, May 4: 12:30 PM - 2 Miles, 16 min
(shin pain was so bad that I had to stop and walk)
Week Total = 48 Miles, 2 Track Workouts, 2 days off
April = 295 Miles
Monday, May 5: 0 Miles (hurt to walk)
Tuesday, May 6: 0 Miles (walking was a little better)
Wednesday, May 7: 0 Miles, PT w/ Holly
(left shin is better, right shin still hurts to walk on)
Thursday, May 8: 0 Miles (walking is easier)
Friday, May 9: 8:00 AM - 20 min shakeout on Pre's Trail
7:15 PM - Oregon Twilight
20 min w/u
5K Race - 15:12 (14th place)
no cool down
(no pain in the left leg at all, right leg is the worst its been yet)
Saturday, May 10: 0 Miles (having trouble walking)
Sunday, May 11: 0 Miles (still very painful to walk on)
Week Total = 9 Miles, 1 Race, 6 days off
First of all, I need to apologize for missing last weeks post. I wasn't sure what was going on with my body and I wanted to wait until I had a better answer before giving an update. I still don't have a good answer for what's going on, but I can talk about what I know.
Last Friday, I started having some pain in both of my lower shins. I've never had shin splints and was puzzled by the fact that I would get them now, but I assumed that's what they were. I did my workout on Saturday and didn't have too much of a problem.
However, I was in pain walking around the rest of the day and on Sunday, I couldn't run more than a mile without stopping to walk. If felt as if I had razor blades embedded under the skin and each time I took a step, they were cutting deeper and deeper. I continued to ice the rest of the day and spent hours reading up on shin pain symptoms. The majority of the pain was located about 3-4 inches above the ankle and on the anterior side. More so on the right leg than on the left. I've never had a stress fracture before either, but with the amount of pain I was in, I thought it had to be that. On Monday, I was already considering the fact that my season could be over and that I may not be able to run for the next couple months. I then saw Holly on Wednesday before departing for Oregon. She examined me and concluded that it was purely a soft tissue injury and that it was unlikely to be a stress fracture. She said that while it will probably be painful, I could still race on it and deal with the inflammation after the race.So I went to Eugene with the intent of racing the 5K on Friday night. I was joined by Rupprecht, Mario, Joanie, Catherine, and Kevin. I still didn't run at all, hoping to let it heal as much as possible before the race. By the time Friday rolled around, I was feeling confident that I could pull this off and still get a good performance in. When I warmed up for the race, the pain continued to grow in my right leg. My left leg seemed to be completely healed, but my right side was getting worse by the minute. I just wanted to get to the start line and start racing so I could forget about the pain in my leg and focus instead on the pain of 12 and a half laps around Hayward Field. Of course, at this time, Barack Obama decided to enter the stadium and delay the meet for another 20 minutes. This anticipation was killing me and the pain in my leg was worsening with every stride I took. Doubt began to enter my mind and I was already starting to lose this race... but I just kept telling myself to tough it out and forget about the pain.
Finally, it was race time and the gun fired. I went into race mode and stuck with the plan. I found my spot in the pack and was cruising through the first few laps at 68 mids. The pace felt comfortable and even slow at times. I could do this, I could make this work. I started to think that this was going to be my day. Then everything just fell apart. For some reason, after about 5 laps, I couldn't focus on the race anymore. The only thing that I could think about was this warm sensation in my leg. I started to struggle, the pace no longer felt easy and I began to fade. The warm sensation had turned into tremendous pain. Doubt had overtaken my mind and there was nothing I could do to get rid of it. By the time 7 laps rolled around, all I could think about was stepping off the track and ending this agony. I drifted out into lane 2 and started to slow down. Then I looked up into the famous grandstands of Hayward Field... I saw the new Nike scoreboard showing the leaders of the race I was in... I saw thousands of people standing and clapping for the 20 athletes that were circling around the red oval, trying to improve their place in this sport. This was the magical track that everyone talked about... The house that Bowerman built, the heart of track and field, and the place where dreams come true.
I have never dropped out of a race and I just couldn't bring myself to do it here on this track. The last 6 laps seemed to take forever as I did my best to show an honest effort. I jogged the last mile and a half in pain and embarrassment, each time around just counting how many more laps I had to endure. I finally finished... and for some reason, I still looked up to check the time. As I saw those numbers next to my name on the scoreboard, I got sick to my stomach and just wanted to crawl into a hole. I sat under that tent at the finish line for a good 20 minutes. I'd like to say that I was coming up with some mind blowing revelations about sport or life or anything... but honestly, I can't remember thinking about a thing. I just sat there and stared at the ground. What just happened? Was this one of those bad dreams you have before the big race, only to wake up realizing that it hadn't happened yet? How could things be going so great and then just change overnight? What had I done wrong?
I realize these are questions that many runners end up asking themselves at some point in their careers. It's a tough thing to deal with and it's hard to stay positive when disaster strikes. I realize injury is a risk that comes with this sport, and it's one that I willingly face each day that I go out for a run or do a workout. Over the years, I've tried to limit those risks with preventative measures, but I've also increased the risks with increased workload and intensity. I have to keep in mind that to achieve these great things that I strive for, I have to take these risks and hope that despite the low points of injuries, there will also be high points of success.
I had a lot of time to think about things over the last couple days and try to put everything in perspective. I still have the belief that everything happens for a reason, and that we all lead our lives with a purpose. Even though some of the things that have happened in my life haven't made sense to me yet, I have to believe that they were all part of a greater plan than that of my own. There are many things in my life that I have control over and with that control, I try lead the best path I can. But there are so many more things in my life that I don't have control over, and for those things, I just need to have faith in the greater plan. I'll never know why we lost Emily or Jim or Marina so early on in this plan, but I'll always be thankful for the time that I had with them. Each one of them has made me a stronger person and has helped me appreciate the gifts that I'm given everyday. I don't know why this injury has come on now... maybe it's telling me that I've done too much, maybe I've done too little, or that I've put too much pressure on myself and haven't paid enough attention to everything else around me. Whatever the reason, I have to hope that it will make me stronger in the future, and lead me to greater things down the road. I have to remember all the gifts that I've been given and the impact that they've had on my life. I am surrounded by family and friends that love me and support me everyday. Through my running career, I've met some incredible people and have been to some fascinating places. Much of my life's accomplishments have rooted from my running passion and for that, I have to be incredibly thankful. That is also the reason why I can't give up on this sport. This sport has defined a large part of who I am and I will always have a passion for it. Despite all the disappointments and heartaches, I still love it. In fact, those heartaches are what make the successes that much sweeter. While I have the ability, I will continue to put everything I can into this sport. Once I've lost the ability to compete at a high level, I'll find another way to stay connected to it. While doing all of this however, I have to remember that running isn't everything. It's a big part of my life right now, but I know there is a bigger purpose to my life than running. I just have to believe in the decisions I've made, and believe that what I do now will lead me to the path that I'm meant to take. I just have to have faith.
"Every passion has it's destiny"
- Billy Mills
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