Well, I went into this race with a hope and a prayer of coming out with a decent performance. I was hoping I could rely on my racing experience and my ability to be tough to get me through it. However, the fact that I've only run about 100 miles in the last 3 weeks left me anything but prepared for a race that requires so much strength and confidence. Two things that I used to pride myself with but have recently been lacking quite a bit of. I did my best to hold it together and take a chance out there. After going through the mile in 4:37, I actually felt comfortable and thought that I had a chance of running a good race. At about the 2400 mark, I started to feel myself getting heavier and laboring a bit more. I made several efforts to stay on pace and hang on to the pack that I was with, but I could only hang on until about 3000m. At this point, I fell off and was feeling terrible. I was terrified of what the next 2000 meters would feel like. When you're hurting at 3k, you know it's going to be a rough day. I am ashamed to admit this but I actually had thoughts of dropping out of the race. I have never dropped out of a race in my life and I didn't plan on starting now. Instead, I found myself resorting to survival mode, dropping down to close to 5min pace and pretty much giving up on any effort of actually competing in this race.
It's amazing how quickly things can change in a race, going from feeling confident and comfortable one minute to losing it all just a few laps later. If you look at my splits in the log below, you'll see where this change happened. I knew I couldn't hold on to 69-70 pace anymore... knowing that I still had over a mile to run. But instead of gradually dropping off to 71-72, I just plummetted to 74s. This is the point that always makes or breaks the 5K, and I broke it. My 4th kilometer was 3:05 (15:25 pace). That was what ultimately killed that race for me. Once we got into the last kilometer and I realized I was about to get lapped, I started to wake up a little. I made a couple pushes as the two leaders went by but it wasn't until about 600 to go that I finally started to race again. At this point, there's not really anything I could do to make a good race out of it, but I just did what I could to cut down the embarrassment of each added second on that clock.
So was this a good race? I wouldn't say so. Could it have been worse? Most certainly yes! Considering how I felt at 3K, finishing with the time I did wasn't terrible. Considering the way I've been feeling the last couple weeks and the way my training has been going, this had the possibility of being 15 something. So considering everything, I can't beat myself up over this too much, even though it seems like that's all I'm doing right now. I have to say it is definitely frustrating to complete a season without setting a personal best, without proving that you've progressed from the previous year, without showing others that you've worked hard, really hard to make yourself better than you were before. I know I'm a good runner, and I know I have the potential to be a great runner, but I have yet to prove either of those on the track. That's the thing with this sport... it doesn't matter what you did for a workout in december or what kind of mileage you ran in october, all that matters is what time you ran on race day. That's what people see and that's what defines you for those that don't actually know you. I have yet to be defined in this sport and now I'll have to wait a little longer before having another chance at it.
On a more upbeat note, I have to say that my teammates are absolutely incredible! Every meet this season has become more and more exciting for them. Jess now has two national qualifiers, both in the 3k and in the mile, Erin just hit the 3k standard this weekend, Joanie hit the 800 standard at terrier and just missed it in the mile on friday! Justin ran a great 3k this weekend and Roland ran awesome in his 3k at terrier. New Balance Boston is certainly on the rise and I am so excited to see what will be in store for them as they approach the end of their season. I feel bad that I can't be putting up the same kind of performances as they are, but I am so happy for each of them and will do whatever I can to support them in their many successes.
In conclusion, I'll say that after this race, I'm stepping away from the track for a while and will be getting ready for my trip to Ireland. I'll be traveling with my fellow teammate Kristen Coon, and will be joined by other friends Pat Tarpy, Thomas Morgan, Jonathan Pierce, and many other great athletes. It will surely be an amazing experience, I will meet some stellar athletes, both domestic and foreign, and I know a great time will be had by all. So until next time, keep that chin up and stay focused because we still have a long way to go before June 27th.
Valentine Results:
Women
Men
NB Boston Interviews:
Jess
Erin
My 5K Race
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